Aziz Ansiari God Never Talked to Us Again
Aziz Ansari's Monologue on 'Sabbatum Nighttime Live': Transcript
The actor and comedian Aziz Ansari delivered the commencement "Sabbatum Nighttime Alive" monologue nether President Donald J. Trump, lampooning him as "the Chris Brown of politics" but too urging him to face up a "new, lower-instance 1000.One thousand.K. movement" in America. Mr. Ansari ("Main of None," "Parks and Recreation") was the offset "S.N.L." host of South Asian descent, and, in an episode infused with Trump material , he oft drew on his background to talk and joke about race during his eight-and-a-half-minute monologue. Here is the full transcript.
ANSARI: Cheers! Cheers very much! Wow. I can't believe this. I'thou here hosting "Saturday Night Live."
[Applause]
Aye! The day afterward Trump'south inauguration. Mmmmm. Pretty absurd to know, though, he's probably at dwelling house right now watching a chocolate-brown guy make fun of him though, right?
[Adulation]
Crazy couple of days, human being. Yesterday, Trump was inaugurated. Today, an entire gender protested against him. Wow.
[Applause]
Everyone should back up that. It shows that people care. Very cool. I practice call back we should exist careful, though. Yous know? We tin't demonize anybody that voted for Trump. Some people are similar, anybody that voted for Trump is a impaired racist misogynist homophobe. Hold on. Nosotros're talking about 63 million people. Y'all know? Don't estimate them past their worst. I'one thousand certain at that place'due south some people that had unlike political priorities. I'chiliad sure there'due south some people that voted for him with reservations.
I'one thousand sure there's a lot of people voted for Trump the same manner a lot of people listen to the music of Chris Dark-brown, where information technology'due south similar, "Hey, human! I'm only here for the tunes. I'm but hither for the tunes! I don't know about that other stuff. I just like the dancing and the music. I don't condone the extracurriculars."
If you lot think nigh it, Donald Trump is basically the Chris Brown of politics. And "Make America Great Again" is his "These hoes ain't loyal."
[APPLAUSE]
So, look. We're divided. Information technology'south O.Yard. We've always been divided by some of these big political bug. It's fine. Equally long as nosotros treat each other with respect and remember that ultimately we're all Americans, we'll be fine.
Just the trouble is —
[APPLAUSE]
The problem is, in that location'due south a new group. I'chiliad talking most this tiny slice of people that accept gotten fashion also fired up about the Trump thing for the wrong reasons. I'm talking about these people that, as soon as Trump won, they're like, "We don't have to pretend like we're not racist anymore! We don't take to pretend anymore! We tin can be racist again! Whoo!"
[MR. ANSARI PUMPS HIS FIST, THEN LOWERS IT INTO A NAZI SALUTE]
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa! No, no! If you're 1 of these people, please go back to pretending. You've got to get dorsum to pretending. I'one thousand and then sorry we never thanked you for your service. We never realized how much effort you were putting into the pretending. But you gotta go dorsum to pretending.
[APPLAUSE]
Hey. I know information technology'south been a rough couple of years. Obama, "Empire," "Hamilton." It's just been striking after hitting subsequently hit. "Star Wars" movies where the merely white characters are stormtroopers. I get it! It's been rough! Just you've got to end.
You know who I'm talking virtually. There's like this new, lower-example 1000.K.G. movement that started — this kind of coincidental white supremacy. "Oh, let me put my human foot in the puddle and run into how cold this water really is." No! No! I'g talking about these people that are running around saying stuff like, "Trump won! Get back to Africa!" "Trump won! Become back to Mexico!" They see me: "Trump won, get back — to where you came from."
Yeah. They're non usually geography buffs.
[Applause]
Is that the plan, past the mode? We're all going to move? All the minorities? Twoscore-some percent of the state? Every minority's going to move?
Beyoncé'due south going to motility? Beyoncé own't moving.
I ain't moving. O.K.? My parents —
[Applause]
My parents moved from Bharat to South Carolina in the early '80s. They didn't move until nine years agone. You know where they moved? North Carolina. They love it here. They're not leaving.
[Applause]
Lower-case Thousand.K.One thousand., human. They're out there. You lot know? Hate crimes and stuff are on the ascent. Y'all know, as far as people in my ain skin tone, brown people. I think part of the problem is a lot of these people, they just haven't interacted with any brown people in their normal life. The only people they meet are these monsters in the news who are just a drib in the ocean.
Maybe what needs to happen is when they practice the news report, they should exercise a second report about some other brown people that are just up to normal stuff — just to at-home those people down.
So the reports are similar: "The suspects are considered armed and unsafe. Not armed and dangerous — these iv other Muslim people that are eating nachos in Chicago. Let's get to footage of them. Uh-oh, looks similar Nasir just spilled a picayune cheese on his khakis! Got a little overambitious with that last dip! We've all been there!"
[Adulation]
A lot of people are Islamophobic, which doesn't brand sense on paper because you know the God in Islam is the aforementioned God that was revealed to Abraham. Judaism, Christianity, same God. Only people are scared. Why? Because any time they lookout movies, and TV shows, and a character is Arabic, or they're praying or something like that, that scary-donkey music from "Homeland" is underneath information technology, it's terrifying!
[Applause]
People are similar, "Aah! What are they saying?" Just "God is good!" Normal organized religion stuff! Information technology's O.G.! You desire to end Islamophobia? Honestly, but alter that music. Like, if the music was different — if it was just, like, [singing theme to "The Benny Loma Show"], people would exist similar, "Human, Islam its one whimsical organized religion, isn't it?"
[APPLAUSE]
I think Trump should brand a speech. A real voice communication denouncing the lower-case K.K.Yard. Don't tweet about me beingness lame or the show. Write a speech. A real speech. Because these people are out in that location, and it's pissing a lot of people off. And I recall it could make a divergence. Because other presidents have washed things like this, and it has helped. Hate crimes and stuff that went down.
At present George Bush-league, George W. Bush-league made a speech subsequently 9/11, and it actually helped. Things changed. This what he said in his speech, and I'thou paraphrasing slightly. He said, "Islam is peace. The perpetrators of these attacks, they don't represent Islam. They stand for war and violence. Our enemies are not our Muslim brothers and sisters. Our enemies are a network of radical terrorists." And everyone applauded. Democrats, Republicans, it didn't matter. Considering information technology's non about politics. Information technology'south about bones human decency and remembering why the land was founded in the first place.
And I was sitting there and I'm watching this speech and I'm like, "What the hell has happened? I'm sitting hither wistfully watching old George West. Bush speeches?" Just sitting there similar, "What a leader he was!" Xvi years agone, I was certain this dude was a dildo. Now, I'm sitting in that location like, "He guided the states with his eloquence!"
[Adulation]
I want to exit you guys with a serious thought. I know at that place's a lot of people that are worried right at present. This is a weird time.
If you're excited near Trump, bang-up. He'due south president. Permit's promise he does a smashing task.
If you're scared about Trump and you're very worried, yous're going to be O.K., too. Considering if you look at our country's history, alter doesn't come up from presidents. Change comes from large groups of angry people. And if Day 1 is any indication, you are part of the largest group of angry people I accept e'er seen.
[APPLAUSE]
Practiced luck to you lot.
Source: https://www.nytimes.com/2017/01/22/arts/aziz-ansari-monologue-transcript-snl.html
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